The challenge of holding space

As I take the next steps in building and transitioning my business, I’ve been challenged by the idea of holding space. I’ve been flooded with questions such as:

How do I hold space for clients?

How do I hold space for my own life?

What kind of physical space do I need?

How much of my business is who I am and how I present myself and how much of it is a storefront or a place where people come?

How do I want to take up space with my voice on social media or in my writing?

I am confounded by challenges of space literally and figuratively! I’m challenged by how to hold it, how to maintain it, how to create it and how to embody it.

And so is the fitness industry!

Women are supposed to take up less space. We’re supposed to be smaller, thinner, and leaner. We’re supposed to be nicer, quieter, softer and more compassionate. All in all, social norms would like us to be less.

On the flip side, men are sent the opposite message. They’re supposed to be more – more confident, more successful, more outspoken and more forward. They’re told to be bigger, more muscular and shredded. They are supposed to take up more space.

No matter how we slice it, this is exhausting. We are fluid beings and we exist on a spectrum. Sometimes we’re less and sometimes we’re more. Sometimes we’re hard and sometimes we’re soft. Unless we want to expand to the point of burnout or fade to nothing, it is impossible to embody the space of what we are “supposed to be.”

So rather than ask ourselves what should I look like or how can I be smaller or bigger, maybe we should ask who do I want to be and what do I want my life to look like?

Once we’ve identified these things, we can set the intention to create or transform space to make these things happen. We can create the space for what we want and the life we want, which in turn will give us the ability to hold and create space for other people.

Don’t spend your energy trying to fit into a box – unless it’s a box you want to be in. Instead, just work on being you. Bend space to your needs, not the other way around.