A fitness membership that finally delivers the big workout “O” you’ve been dying for…


Let’s face it: most workout programs are like a bad BDSM novel for repressed housewives.

You’re sold on the fantasy that you’ll step away looking like the lithe, Lululemon-clad instructor—only to leave totally unsatisfied.

The TOTAL PACKAGE ditches the lame fantasy so you can upgrade the hell out of your workout IRL.

Blending primal movement with science-backed exercise, you’ll be SHOOK when every single one of your cells is screaming Yes-oh-Yes!


: Exclusive access to workout videos that are better than porn. No shame if you fast-forward and rewind (and rewind again… and again).

: Challenges that are more daring than 50 Shades of anything.

: A supportive community where you can dish about alllll your temptations & desires (or, like, just cheer that exercise sucks less)

: Access to me in a private facebook group where I'll answer all your questions.









No more fitness dry spells.
No more workout hangovers.
No more never-ending spiral of flip-floppy feelings about fitness, à la Tay Swift’s greatest hits.


LAUNCHING 2020! Hop on the waitlist below to be notified when it opens.