How to squat like a f*cking boss

I know you’re thinking, wooo-oooow another article giving you tips on the best way to squat, but if you’re new to this whole fitness thing or experiencing joint pain, hear me out. I might have something to share with you that you haven’t heard before.

First, and I know this really sucks, because who doesn’t love a black and white answer, but there is no one right way to squat. Why? Because everyone is different and your individual mobility, anatomy, movement history, fitness goals, and even psychology will determine what squat position is right for you.

That being said, here are some tips to help you do a bomb ass squat.

Know your angles

Yanno those women who look like they have perfectly heart shaped faces, giant tits, and tiny waists on Instagram, but are a lot more average IRL? Yeahhh, those bitches know what camera angles work for them.

The same way that there are good angles for a selfie, there are also good angles for a squat. You just have to find yours.

How to do this. First take your feet out a little wider than hip width. Don’t overthink it. Now look down. Where are your feet pointing? Probably a little out to the sides. Is one a little more turned out or turned in? It’s probably fine. It’s absolutely normal for your two sides to do different things. Roll with it.

Now, try sitting down like you would in a chair. As you do this, check that your whole foot (even the big toe!) stays connected to the floor and think about pressing your knees slightly out. You don’t need to go nuts here. Just don’t let them cave way in. Stand up. Do a few.

Can you feel your butt? You should feel your butt. If you feel your inner thighs, quads, or core those are also acceptable answers.

Now try this again with a narrower stance.

Finally try it with a slightly wider stance.

Did you like one more than the rest? Congrats. You’ve found your angle. You’ve also done like 15 fucking squats, so you just got a workout in. I’m not sorry and you’re welcome

Consider what muscles you want to activate (and a modification for cranky knees!)

General rule here.

Butt back + chest slightly forward (think hinge pattern like an Olympic speed skater, not a dying shrimp) = booty for dayyyyyzzzz.

Chest more upright = quads on fiyaaaaaaa! (but not like the Fyre festival. This is actually a good idea if you want to work your quads).

If you tend to have knee pain, the butt back bootlicious option will often feel better, but if you’re not sure, try both and just see what you like.

Warm up your joints first and like maybe move your spine

I’m not sure if you’ve caught the theme here, but this isn’t a one size fits all tutorial, because you my friend are not a basic bitch. You’re an individual.

However, something that most individuals need is general movement at the individual joints that can get super creaky and weird from long bouts of staring at the little soul suckers than we call computers and phones.

Some areas to mobilize? (ps mobilize just = a fancy word for movement): ankles, hips, upper back – and while you’re at it, maybe do a few core engagement or glute activation exercises for the hell of it.

Not sure where to start? Check out this video. Then try that squat thing again.

Did you follow the video? Was it better? You know it was better.

How do I know? Because, everything is better with foreplay.

You’re welcome.